5 tips for a great radio interview!

Recently I did a series of radio interviews to chat about my latest novel “Under your Skin”. I managed to get slots on BBC Radio Ulster, Cambridgeshire, West Midlands, Leicester and Hereford & Worcester – as well as a slot on Dublin City FM.

Here are 5 things I learned from doing those interviews:

1. Nerves are good!

Some people can’t imagine going on air for fear that the nerves would overtake them. They have negative fantasies that they would clam up or worse, stumble over their words and appear flustered. But I have found that it’s good to embrace that nervous feeling! Nerves are just a rush of adrenaline; nervous energy that perks you up and gives you the ‘oomph’ and motivation to stay alert for the interview. Imagine if you had no nerves at all; if you felt so bored and lethargic and really didn’t care about how you came across – that would be terrible!

 

Embrace that nervous energy – have a listen to one of the presenter’s previous programs so that you can get a feel for his/ her interview style. When they play music, have a little dance around your room – burn off some of that energy! Try some relaxation tips that actors use; force yourself to do some big yawns – that tricks your body into thinking that you are relaxed. It works!

 

Tell yourself that when the interview is over, you can do something nice for yourself – something relaxing. What you will find, is that all that nervous energy will turn into euphoric relief afterwards and you’ll be buzzing! You’ll be so pleased with yourself for facing your fears and doing it anyway. And you might find you enjoyed it!

 

2. Focus on the presenter

Every single presenter I have chatted to was friendly, chatty and welcoming. Funny that, they are paid to talk – that is their forte! They have asked you to come on the show, therefore they think you have something of importance to add to their program. They want you to talk. They will ask open questions to get a conversation going.

 

Imagine that they’re sitting opposite you. Imagine it’s a friend or acquaintance who has a genuine interest in your book and wants to know more about it. Chat away to that presenter as you would to anybody.

3. You know your stuff!

Remember that you know your stuff. Have confidence that there is no-one more equipped to answer those questions than you. They’re asking about your book – the book that has taken you months to write and has lived in your head for all that time. It’s unlikely that there’d be any question that you’d be unable to answer. So have confidence that you know your subject!

 

4. Be tech ready

The only slight panic I had was with a technical issue. Radio presenters generally prefer to phone you on a landline. My landline however, is rarely in use. It is also a handheld device that nestles in a cradle. For some bizarre reason, halfway through the interview, my phone completely died! How strange is that? When does a landline ever die? I think it was something to do with the handheld set.

Anyway, I quickly phoned the presenter back from my mobile and she was the ultimate professional. Without any fuss or drama, she simply picked up the interview where we left off and carried on. Thankfully it was a prerecorded interview but I learned my lesson – always make sure you’re tech ready!

 

It’s also important to make sure you’ll have complete quiet; that any other phones are muted and that the pets are in another room with the door closed so they can’t walk in and miaow halfway through! Also any potential visitors should be told to keep away and not ring the doorbell!

 

5. One click links

Here’s the bad news: radio interviews might not equal sales.

Think about it: If you heard someone chatting away on the radio about a book that sounds really interesting, would you think to yourself “Oooh, I must remember that author’s name and the title of the book so that I can go home, open my computer, look her up on Amazon and order the book.” Of course not.

That’s why it’s important to have one-click links advertisements on social media. Make it easy for your reader to have access to your book’s home. Like here:

"Under Your Skin" - available on Amazon - click here! 

Hope you found these tips useful. If you’d like to check out any of the interviews I did, please see these links below:

BBC Radio Leicester: 

BBC Radio Cambridgeshire: 

BBC Radio Ulster: 

BBC West Midlands: 

BBC Hereford & Worcestershire: 

Dublin City FM: 

 

Thanks for reading/ watching! 

Bye!

Rose xx

Short story - "In the queue for the Pearly Gates"

It seems as though I’m in the queue for the pearly gates. The sun is shining down on us. In the far-off distance, I can see luscious green mountaintops. The air is still and quiet. It’s so peaceful.

The queue feels orderly and calm. There’s quite a few ahead of me and quite a few behind me. We all stand, one at a time, a bit of space apart.

Some people don’t look too happy to be in the queue for the pearly gates. One woman looks anxious and paranoid. She’s wearing a face mask and her eyes keep darting around as if worried someone will jump on her.

A man is talking manically to someone on his mobile phone, desperately trying to fill the time.

Another man is engrossed in his phone trying to distract himself with emails or news bulletins.

It’s as if they can’t bear this waiting time, as though they’re wanting to hurry through life and get through those pearly gates as soon as possible.

I decide to just stand there, soaking up the sun, trying to think of nothing. They call it mindfulness these days. The ability to clear the mind of any chaotic thoughts and just sit peacefully. Like you’re next to a calm lake with nothing to do but watch your fishing pole and see if the fish take the bait.

I let the sun soak onto my pasty white arms, let the Vitamin D pour into my cells.

I put the morning behind me – the work that I did at my desk before I came out. Instead I just stand, trying to think of nothing, breathing.

A doorman to the pearly gates walks down along the queue. He has a walkie-talkie and he wears a high-vis jacket. “Any over-65’s?” he bellows. “Over 65’s can skip the queue.”

Well that makes sense, I think. The man who has been chatting on his phone stops mid-track and smiles wryly. It is a smile of compassion, of understanding. We don’t mind that the over 65’s skip the queue. We are glad to let them. I make a mental note that I have another 20 years before I join the 65’s. What am I going to do with those 20 years, while I wait in this queue of life?

The over 65’s pass me, slowly. One has a walking stick. The other is so hunched over her zimmer frame that her body has taken on a sort of ‘L’ shape, rather than being upright.

65 is not old these days, I think. My parents are in their 70’s and they still seem sprightly to me. There was that one time my dad was really sick and he clung on to my hand in the hospital. I thought it was his last hour; it was terrifying. But he made a full recovery. 5 years in remission and out cycling daily.

I think of all the lovely things there will be inside. Delicious fresh fruits, luxurious desserts, rows and rows of chocolate – anything we want to pick.

But I’m happy to just wait here for now, to bask in the sunlight and enjoy the moment of mindfulness.

I look up to see a huge sign towering over us. You can’t miss it. Anyone could see it for miles. It must be at least 6 feet tall. Yes, if I was to stand next to it, it would tower over me. I guess they don’t want anyone to miss this place. I guess we’ll all have to come here eventually.

The queue inches forward again. I’m getting closer now.

I can see a nurse in uniform. Anyone working closely with sick people are at a greater risk. They’re allowed to skip the queue too.

Again the queue nudges forward. It’s a slow moving queue but it’s persistent. It does keep moving. Eventually we will get there.

The doorman with the walkie-talkie and the high vis jacket gives me the nod.

It is my time.

My time has come.

I’ve reached my destination.

I give him a smile of thanks, pop my pound in the trolley, whizz it through the sanitising station and I’m in.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

#Tesco

#EveryLittleHelps

#Lockdown

Theatre script - "Home~Work"

A friend reminded me about this short play that was put on in the Black Box a couple of years ago. It was fun to read back through it and remember how the actors breathed life into it on the stage. I thought I'd post the script here so do feel free to have a nosy :) It's about a woman, who works from home, noticing another woman who lives across the road. The other woman also works from home. But it seems her work is slightly more interesting than hers, given the number of males coming and going from her house every day...

Home ~ Work

By Rose McClelland

Part One – The Neighbour

(Monologue - to be performed by an actress aged 25-40)

Twenty minutes. I watched them that afternoon. 

Beer belly man left, a smile on his face and a spring in his step. And five minutes later, another guy turned up. Five minutes! I began to wonder did she not give herself time for a quick shower, or a quick change of her knickers for that matter. No, five minutes later client number two arrived. He wasn’t bad looking to be fair. A bit of rough and ready if you like that kind of thing. (I like that kind of thing). A builder-type. In his thirties. He arrived in a white van. It even had the name and phone number of the company sprawled across the van. ‘No job too hard’, the van bragged. (Quite). ‘Busty Boilers’. (Top anonymity here). I was half-tempted to open the door and call “Yoo-hoo! Over here!’ He would look around and I’d be all jokey and flirt and say, “Want it for free over here mister?” but then I thought about it and I thought, I’m in my pyjamas and I’ve no make-up on. Probably not the best look. I also thought – say he’s paying her fifty quid for a quick 20 minutes, I’d need at least a meal and a glass of wine to warm me up. I would even stretch to a boojums and a can of coke but it’d still take longer than twenty minutes. And time was clearly of the essence for him.

While Mister Builder was in, I did the dishes and tidied the kitchen. I couldn’t resist the pull of the window though. The magnetic draw of the drama was too much.

Sure enough, twenty minutes later, Mister Builder bounced out, a spring in his step too. I began to wonder about her services as a professional. Clearly she was very good at what she did if the smile-o-meter was anything to go by. Twenty minutes for a shag and a smile. You had to hand it to her. Last date I went on, it took him three hours to build up the courage to kiss me and then when I discovered he kissed like a frog on a heart attack, it felt like a terrible waste of an evening.

Oh! There’s client three! My word. Tall. Slim. Nice clothes. Very fancy car. This guy was seriously a catch! I began to feel a little jealous. Three times action in one lunch break compared to my [….. pause as though counting…] in how many weeks. [Shrugs shoulders]. Okay, months.

Very intrigued about tall guy. What on earth was he doing paying for sex? Surely he could have anyone?

Then again, I reasoned with myself, say fifty quid for twenty minutes – end result – a shag. Probably tons cheaper than dinner, wine, movie – repeat for at least three dates before she feels it’s okay to have sex. It’s a maths game.

And if we’re still talking maths, she’s had a total of five clients in one lunchtime. Say fifty quid a pop – that’s £250 for one lunchtime’s work.

I think I’m in the wrong job.

I wanted to meet this ‘Lady of the Night’. I wanted to find out ‘why’. Why did she end up in that job? What lead her into it? Did she have a drug problem? Did she have childhood issues? But of course how could I do that without being nosy? I couldn’t exactly say – ‘Oh, I live across the way from your house – I was just wondering if I could borrow a cup of sugar – oh and by the way – what is it that makes you want to work from home as a prostitute?’ Not a very polite opening gambit is it?

Hmm.

However, I did think we had a lot in common. She worked from home, I worked from home. Both of us slobbed around in our pjs (except when she was in her dressing gown). Neither of us had to deal with office politics. Or the commute in the rain. Or getting out of bed before five to nine. So much in common.

But then my entertainment ended. She moved out.

I saw her load all her stuff into a van bit by bit. There was a man helping her. Builder type. I wonder did she pay him in kind. They loaded up the van. She took one last look at her apartment, and she got in her car and left. She looked a bit desolate; like a bird being shoved out of the nest too quickly.

The cul-de-sac seemed very quiet after she left. My friend joked that I should set up a new Lady of the Night business. ‘After all, there’s a gap in the market now’, he laughed.

But then I decided my skanky days of working from home in my pj’s are over. I think I’ll go back to office work. I think I’ll get new high heels and fancy suits and doll myself up in make-up. I think I’ll have a nice routine structure of 9-5. Plus, there’s plenty of men to eye up in the coffee dock. Who knows, maybe one of them will take me out for a quick boojums?

Part Two – The Client

(Monologue - to be performed by an actor aged 35-50)

Twenty minutes. That was the slot she allocated me. It was her special deal, she said. 

Twenty minutes for fifty quid. I suppose she assumed I was one of her cheap-skate clients. The builder types. With the Sun newspaper rolled under one arm and a can of Special Brew in the other. But I wasn’t her typical client. Money isn’t an issue for me. It’s time. I don’t need a three hour slot. I’m in a rush.

I get a six thirty flight most mornings. Meetings from eight thirty onwards. Meetings as late as eight at night. Client dinners. Head hits pillow. Then it’s up an’ at ‘em next day all over again. I employ a lot of people. I generate a lot of tax. I’m not a waster you know.

Okay, I’m being defensive, I know. Look, it’s the biggest cliché in the book. Lonely hotel rooms. Stressful hours. No time to socialise.

But really, don’t judge me.

I’ve no wife. No kids. No girlfriend tucked away that I’m cheating on. I’m just a single guy. I’m not hurting anyone. I’m just away from home a lot.

Yeah, I guess I’m lonely.

Some might say I’m a good looking guy. Tall. Nice clothes. Nice car. I suppose I appear a ‘catch’. But I’m never in the same place long enough.

I’ve tried the online dating thing. Do you know how hard it actually is to get a date off one of those things?

You send her a message. She replies. You get a bit of banter going. And then she suddenly stops. Blocks you. For whatever reason, I don’t know.

Or say you actually get to the stage where you arrange a coffee date. You keep the banter going. You walk on thin ice. You make sure you don’t say anything which she’ll misread or suddenly block you for.

And then, just before the coffee date, she suddenly cancels. Claims a sudden cold. Or a sudden important meeting. Or the death of her pet hamster. Or just doesn’t bother contacting at all. So you’re sat in a coffee shop, wasting valuable time.

The list goes on. Say she does turn up. She’s two stone heavier than her picture. Or ten years older. Or just the same, but less… sparkly.

Once in a while, a miracle occurs. She turns up. She looks good. There’s good banter with her. But that’s it – just a coffee. Do you know how many dates it takes to wine and dine a woman into bed? And how much money? Too much. Don’t get me wrong, I’d be happy to do it, if I was in the same town for long enough. But I’m not. One week it’s Belfast. The next it’s Dublin. Then it’s London. Sometimes even New York at times. What do I work at?
Er… client confidentiality here?

So in Belfast I now see Sasha.

London; it’s Tanya.

Dublin; it’s Eva.

Yes, it’s weird. Yes, it feels strange. Especially when they remind you that time’s up. That’s harsh. Do you know how much pressure it puts on a guy to perform on time?

It’s a bit like the time I went to a counsellor. Just when we were chatting great and I thought we were getting on well, she looked at the clock and said, “Well that’s the time up for today”. I was in the middle of a big confession. It felt like a slap in the face. I never went back to her after that.

But I do go back to Sasha.

And Tanya.

And Eva.

I did ask Sasha once if she wanted to be my ‘only one’. My courtesan – I think is what it’s called.

She laughed in my face. “Your girlfriend, you mean?”

Well no, I said. I explained the terms. She’d come with me. Accompany me to each town. Be there on my down time.

“That’s a girlfriend”, she persisted.

“Well if you want to call it that”, I told her.

“And sit around all day waiting for you? No thanks”. She said it with a smile to show me she was joking. But I liked that about her. A bit of spark. She wasn’t afraid to argue back.

I’m working on her. One of these days she’ll succumb and be my one and only.

Part Three – The Escort

(Monologue - to be performed by an actress aged 25-35)

Twenty minutes, I told him. It’s just fifty quid for twenty minutes. They always take the twenty minutes option. Even if it’s one hour for one hundred, they’ll still take the twenty minutes. Suits me grand. It’s easier to get them in and out again (pardon the pun). If I can bunch three or four clients into one lunch time, then that’s me done for the day and I can relax.

It’s like I’m in actress mode, I tell myself. All actresses have to perform. My performance is just a slightly different genre.

Sometimes I take a drink to relax myself. Or a tablet. But generally I depend on my acting skills to kick in.

Stage One – Meet and greet. Big smile, pretend I’m delighted to see him (no matter what he looks like).

Stage Two – Initial set-up. Get him comfortable, ask him what he’s looking for. This is my “pretend I’m a physio” role – pretend he’s just here for a massage.

Stage Three – the actual act. This is the hardest part (oh dear, there I go with my puns again). But this is the part that’s a blur. I’m on auto-pilot. My head is fuzzy. I’m thinking – fifteen minutes top, then it’s over. I’m thinking money.

And then it’s over.

Stage Four is easy – taking the money – bye bye, do come again. (puns, how many?) And it’s done.

I only have to do four of these a day and that’s two hundred pounds made. I only work two days a week. Two days a week – lunchtimes only. It means I have a lot of time off.

Of course I don’t tell people about my job. I’m only telling you because …. well, you’ve sussed me out.

And I know you’re judging me. That’s okay. That’s why I don’t tell people.

Oh, I know what you think. That I must be on drugs. Or have childhood issues. Or how I must be a homewrecker.

You’re probably worried your boyfriend is seeing me on the side. I’m sure he’s not. The guys that come to me are the guys who can’t get it elsewhere. I like to see myself as a sort of ‘sex worker’. I’m releasing tension. I’m preventing sexual assault.

But the truth is, I couldn’t bear an office job. I’ve done it before. The long hours. The horrible commute. The standing in the pouring rain waiting for a bus at seven in the morning. The office politics. The bitchiness. The griping.

When I was too stressed in my office job, the doctor told me I was depressed. Depressed/ Stressed – whatever. He gave me pills and sent me on my way. I retreated home to my safe sanctuary. The pills made me feel like I was sinking down through the carpet. A bit like in Trainspotting. Maybe I do fit the druggie prostitute stereotype after-all.

Anyway, off sick, I hatched a plan. I’ve had fuck buddies in the past. I know how it works. Home, quick shag, they disappear. They might re-appear. Same cycle. I might as well get paid for it.

And the hours are fantastic. The perks of the job. Roll out of bed by eleven a.m. Quick shower. No commute. Finish work by two. Rest of the day to myself. Stress free.

Of course there are the down-sides. Say I’m at a party and someone asks me what I do, I can’t say, “Oh, I work from home as an escort!” Because they’d judge me. Like you might be doing now.

So I say I’m a legal secretary. That shuts them up because it’s so bloody boring.

The other downside is that I can’t have a boyfriend. Apart from the obvious – he’d be jealous of four men a day trooping through his living room, I honestly wouldn’t have the energy to have sex with him. It’d be like a busman’s holiday.

And then of course there’s the future career prospects. I’ve no pension. The minute the wrinkles or sagging appears, my career is over. And then when I do try to get a job in my local Tesco’s, my CV is non-existent.

Don’t get me wrong – of course I get jealous. When I scroll through Facebook and I see the perfect lives and the husbands and the two point four children and the hidden sub-text of security and pension and unconditional love – yeah, of course it looks nice.

But it’d be good if I could get one of those courtesan jobs. One of my clients has suggested that recently actually. He’s good looking too. Tall. I don’t have to do the blurring out thing when I’m in stage three with him.

But I think he was joking. I joked back with him. I said I’d cost him a fortune. Fly me to every town with him? Wait for him all day and be available with he’s ready? Next he’ll be wanting me to do his Tesco shop for him and bear his two point four children. I was joking with him but of course, secretly I was delighted. Holding my breath in fact. Perhaps if I put up enough of a chase, he’ll finally seal the deal.

In the meantime, I’ll just keep slapping on the wrinkle cream and enjoying my daily lie-in.

(END)

"Home~Work" was performed in the Black Box theatre, Belfast. 
It was directed by Colm Doran and performed by Vicky Blades, David Paulin and Mary Frances Loughran.

Paperback arrival!

Very exciting news here today! I've just received the paperback copy of my novel # 3 - THE YEAR OF NO RULES. It's so lovely to see it in print! 

Please check out my short video below. 

And do please pre-order a copy! The pre-order copy is super cheap! Here's the link: 

https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B0743BFMPV/ref=sr_1_1?tag=geolinker-21&ie=UTF8

How to approach an agent or publisher

So, you’ve written your first novel. (Well done!)  

You’ve typed “The end”.

You’ve given yourself a massive pat on the back and you might even have gone out for a night of dancing to celebrate (good girl!).

Now what?

Well, it’s time to send it off, of course!

“Off? Off to whom, exactly? And how do I go about that?”

Having been there, sent off the manuscript, faced rejection and finally secured an agent and a publisher, I'm happy to share my experience with you.

I'm over on The Writer's ABC Checklist chatting about what to do next! 

Please note, I made a few big mistakes, so hopefully you can learn from my mistakes and make the process a lot more pain-free!

Among the emails I receive from writers, the most asked question is "How do I go about approaching an agent/ publisher?" so now is the time to answer that question!

I include a few tips and hopefully some steps in the right direction.

Come join us!

The Writer's ABC Checklist

A Day in the Life... of a Book Review Editor!

Writers - ever wondered what goes on behind the scenes of a book review website?

Readers - ever wondered if you could manage to get free books in return for writing a review?

Today I chat to the Editor of the 'Judging Covers' website to find out what really goes on in the world of book reviews!

Nikki, thanks so much for joining me today!

When did you decide to set up a review blog and what were your motives for doing so?

I'm a freelance writer and had been toying with the idea of starting an online magazine, but I couldn't come up with an idea that I really loved. One day I finished reading a book and I immediately wanted to chat to the nearest person about it - and it struck me that a book review site could be the answer!

There are some incredible book review blogs for women out there, but most tend to focus on chick lit and women's fiction - which I love, but I also read other genres too, and there seemed to be a gap in the market for a women's book blog that covered a bit of everything.  I didn't want the blog to be restricted to just my opinions, so I talked to a few friends who were all really keen to get involved and help the site offer a wider range of tastes. And so, Judging Covers was born!

* Judging Covers was born! * 

How would you have rated your computer skills beforehand? I'm not the most tech-savvy person & I know I can get quite frustrated with my blog at times!

I've always been quite good at computers and I've had a few blogs in the past, so over the years I suppose I've picked up enough knowledge to make things run smoothly and look relatively presentable! I couldn't create a website from scratch, but I have enough experience with Wordpress to edit the templates and make it all look nice. I did a bit of graphic design and basic web design on my degree, but I'm pretty much self-taught... trial and error!  

How did you go about approaching publishers for free books? Was it difficult to drum up support initially?

I actually didn't approach anyone - the original team just started reviewing books they'd bought, and after a few weeks I started to get emails asking if we'd be interested in receiving review copies, presumably as more people stumbled across the site.  Free stuff was never the intention, so it's all happened quite organically.  We do get offered a lot of books now (too many!) but there wasn't anything I did to make that happen.  The majority of reviews at the site are still of books that we bought ourselves.

If a reader would like to review for Judging Covers, do they need to have a lot of writing experience?

Not necessarily, but I suppose you need to have a natural talent for writing. I've always wanted to provide a really high standard of reviews, and our team includes professional journalists, copywriters and authors, as well as students and bloggers. I always ask for an example of writing from people before they join the team, so I know that standards will remain high - but I'm happy to support aspiring reviewers too. Everyone starts somewhere.

* Judging Covers - Meet the team! * 

Are reviewers expected to review a certain number of books per month or is it flexible? Do they have to review every single book they are sent?

I'm really flexible when it comes to the amount that people contribute. I don't think I can demand anything from people when they're not paid for their efforts, so I don't put pressure on reviewers to meet deadlines or targets. It's supposed to be fun! There's a huge variation in the amount that people contribute, but I'm happy with that as long as we continue to post great content. I will also accept one-off reviews from people if they're not really interested in an ongoing commitment, but would like to share their thoughts on a particular novel they've read.

We have a system in place where the team can request the books that they'd like to review from a list, so nobody receives a book that they have no interest in reading. It's nice if they do review all the books that they're sent, but I never chase them up - I know sometimes I simply don't have time to read everything I want to, so I wouldn't nag people!

*Want to review for Judging Covers?* 

With regard to setting up the blog, tell me about the best experience so far?

We were shortlisted for a Cosmopolitan Blog Award in 2011, which was amazing. We had only launched in January 2011 so hadn't been around very long, but two of our reviewers were able to attend a very glam awards party in London.  We didn't win, but the recognition was fantastic. I've also had emails from some of my favourite authors saying how great the site is, which means a lot.

What has been the most challenging aspect so far?

We've had a few instances where reviewers may have upset an author by a negative review, but that's kind of the point of reviewing. If we only posted positive reviews, people wouldn't trust our opinions. Sometimes you do read a book that didn't work for you, but it doesn't mean that everyone will hate it or that the author isn't talented; it just means that it wasn't your cup of tea, and I believe reviewers are well within their rights to say that.

I see you are also involved in another website "Twelve52" - tell us a little about that?

Twelve52 is a digital magazine that is run by one of my good friends, Joy. I contribute a monthly book column, which includes interviews, mini-reviews, features and opinions on book-related topics. I always wanted Judging Covers to be strictly a review resource (we don't post any interviews or book news) so my Twelve52 column features all the fun stuff that I can't post at JC! The Judging Covers review team often contribute quotes or opinions to the Twelve52 features, which is a nice little extra.   


Wow! That was fascinating! I really enjoyed getting inside the head of a review editor! I hope some of you readers will consider approaching Nikki and writing some reviews for her. I have reviewed for Judging Covers for some time before getting my publishing contract. I know it really helped to boost my writing confidence. Reviewing books also helps you to read more and read differently. You'll learn much more about characterisation, pace and plot.

Thanks for joining me Nikki! :o) 

A Day in the Life ... of a Publisher!

To start off my "Day in the Life" series, I'm lucky enough to follow Editor and Publisher - Crooked Cat! 

Mister Crooked Cat is the big chief in charge of a new, fast-growing publishing company. He is sitting by my fireside, eating tuna, drinking milk and answering my many questions. Please note, he's quite a character! Enjoy x

Mister Cat, can you tell me what happened on the day you decided to set up your own publishing company? Was it a sudden "Aha! This is what I want to do" moment, or was it a long process where you had been mulling over the idea for months?

You know, the life of a cat can be very tiring. One moment you're sitting by the fire, taking in forty winks, dreaming of that next delicious piece of salmon, waiting for Christmas. And the next you're in charge of a brilliantly original publishing company. I could barely get my paws under the desk before people were asking me to read this, and publish that. 

My owner wrote a story a few years ago, you see, and she saw it accepted and published by one of the better known companies on the circuit. She had completed her second novel when the thought occurred to her to bypass the middle man, and use the experience she had gained in writing and editing, to begin her own publishing company. With yours truly as Managing Director, no less. How lucky for them. But then I always knew I was a natural born leader. I have finesse, you see.

Things started to fall into place quite quickly which, of course, I knew they would. But even I didn't realise that we would be as big and popular as we are. We have over twenty authors, and more around the corner. The life of a cat can be very tiring indeed. Which is why I let my owner get on with things. Whilst I dream of salmon, and Christmas.

*This is where I hang out with the cat!*

How did you find your first writer? Was it an exciting (or scary!) moment when they signed their publishing contract?

Of course it was exciting! I found out later on that I very nearly woke up when my owner told me the author T A Belshaw had signed to us, at the end of 2011. I don't recall the exact circumstance - whether we found him, or whether he found us. But I'm sure that there was catnip involved. And perhaps some fish.

You started off as an e-publisher. Then recently you were able to provide a paperback option via print on demand / Amazon. Did you start off hoping to publish on paperback or how did this development come about?

Isn't paper lovely? I use paper for many different things, preferably scrunched into a ball, although seldom for reading from. I'm told that ePublishing is seen as a step down by many people - that reading an eBook is rather akin to eating the supermarket's own catfood, rather than spending a bit more and taking sustenance from an expensive brand. What nonsense! My owners would tell you that many of the best and most original stories are published as ebooks, by ePublishers, because they recognise good quality when they see it first. And they want people to be able to read it straight away, without having to wait for that scary postman. But some postmen aren't scary and, with that in mind, some of our lovely eBooks are available for you to read on paper, in the toilet. Or wherever you may personally choose to read them. I promise that we will continue to produce more paperbacks for more of you to read.

As well as buying Crooked Cat books on Amazon, readers can now purchase books via the Crooked Cat online bookstore. Can you tell us how this came about and what benefits readers can expect from using the specialized store? 

YAAAAAWWWWWNNN. Pardon? Oh. I suppose so. Mr and Mrs Amazon are lovely, but they can sometimes be a bit big and a bit scary. At least to me. But they don't mean to be. So, whilst I was having a snooze one day, my owner made a bookstore for lovely people to buy our eBooks from. It has a cozy, local bookshop sort of feel to it, the smell of coffee, and with nice big cushions - all that stuff. And when you buy something from the store you get a little personal 'thank you' email from me. And you get lots of points that you can use to buy something else in the store. And you get to make our authors really happy and smiley, as they don't have to share with a third party. 'Cause no-one likes a sad author. And, well basically, who doesn't like a cozy, local bookstore?

 *The cozy, local bookstore!* 

So much going on in such a short space of time! Did you expect things to spiral so quickly?

Spiral? I'm a cat, of course not. It has been very quick, though, and I'm beginning to miss out on naps.

So what's it like in the day of publisher/ editor? Talk us through a typical day!

I wake up. I eat. I go...you know. I go back to sleep.

And sometimes I read things that people have sent in, respond to them, or I mull over a story. Editing is a slow process - the purrfect speed for me. I'm also good with pictures - the darker the better. And then I'll tap away at my little keyboard (actually my owner does, but don't tell her) and do emails and promote our kitties.

But mostly I'll just sleep.

*Are you on Facebook?* 

When reading submissions, is there anything in particular you are looking for? Any advice for budding writers as to how to hone their submission? 

Include fish, ideally. If not, then some little biscuits work.

If you don't have any of those (and, frankly, who doesn't?!?), then prepare to dazzle me with your talent. Like, spell your worms right, and make sure that your sentence sense make. Does it? Get someone who isn't a blood relation to read it - and get them to say it is brilliant. Be original. You know, normal stuff.

*Are you a writer? Check out Submission guidelines here!*

Are there any particular genres you are looking for at the moment?

Dark things. Spooky things. Murdery things like a cornered mouse…but also fluffy, light things. Depends on my mood. I'm a cat. That doesn't mean I'll like it, though, you understand. They don't call me 'crooked' for nothing.

What has been the most challenging aspect to date?

Waking up early. In fact, just waking up.

What has been the most satisfying?

I'm happy in the knowledge that writers find a home with me, and that their lovely stories are being read by lots of lovely strangers across the globe.

That, and more salmon.

Lastly, tell us a little about the 'Fear' anthology and your decision to donate all proceeds to charity?

I know how to make you scared. LOOK - funny face!! %/)

Oh. Made of harder stuff, are you? Well, what about my FEAR Anthology, which comes out on October 3rd? I've gathered together sixty of the best indie writers from across the world (this one) and forced them to sit in a room together to write a story each. Then I forced two bestselling international authors (I'm not telling you who), Sherri Browning Erwin and Peter James (grr!), to write the forewords, and then I said that we would give all the royalties from it to two charities - Barnardo's and Medicines sans Frontieres. And they all believed me!

And then I told them that, for more information, they should take themselves off to http://www.facebook.com/fearanthology - and they did.

Tisk. Humans.

I'm going to bed.

 *Are you on Twitter?* 

Well!! That was ..... interesting! Told you he was a character, didn't I?! Join me tomorrow as I follow another big-wig around! x x